Woodview.
I want to inform you, before going into the copy, that - whether or not you want my copy writing service - I can offer you virtual assistance. I would gladly offer you one of my VAs at $5/hour for the first two weeks (even if it's full-time). If you want to discuss this, or anything else, just add me on skype; my handle is Sumon Hästö.
"Can you take an existing technical description of a home you've never been in, imagine it, and write evocative, compelling and emotional copy?
"<---yep.
To breathe life into your copy, I would use a copywriting formula; which is both effective and honest (rather than button-pushing). This formula is, most of all, focused on the person (reading the copy) rather than on the "product".
It's about speaking directly to the reader; rather than listing features like a copy-robot. So, it gets the attention, it defines the problem, it presents the solution, builds trust and credibility (through pointing to other people talking about the neighborhood or whatever is suitable) and calls to action.
Upon taking a look at the sample copy, I really understand why you need someone else to bring life into your copy. The copy is - rather than emotionally provoking - more or less a description of the home. I would "translate" (for lack of a better word) things like "lies in a good area" to a vivid description of the area. Rather than "good", I would simply write the features - like "finest location" - followed by an explanation; an argumentation, and description, of why it's fine.
Let me give you a few examples of what I mean, exactly. "This 2-story colonial home is built well back from the road, with a pretty, professionally landscaped yard"<---Why does this benefit someone? "Sure - it sounds good but why is it good for ME?" would be a lot of people's reactions (from anyone who doesn't know the benefits of a professionally landscaped yard; and, more importantly, if it gives them anything).
"The formal dining room is to the right and the formal living room to the left"<---this sentence is simply a waste of characters (you said 2500 was max); but could be made very informative/beneficial if it was ended with an argument for why such a placement is a good thing.
"The dining room features large windows, raised wainscot panels and heavy crown and chair rail molding. The living room has large windows, crown and chair rail molding and a fireplace with pretty mantle."<----these sentences SOUND like they are talking about something very beautiful; but it's not like they paint a picture.
"this home offers the finest location, features and quality living" is obviously saying great things; but not in a good way. It's just talk; it's not going to make someone go, YES; I
finally found my dream home!".
It won't get anyone's attention (because it looks just like everything else), and it doesn't talk directly to the reader (because it's just a DESCRIPTION). If it doesn't do those two things, FIRST, what comes after doesn't matter; because the person won't be reading it (as the attention hasn't been grabbed and they haven't been related to; so the text, that they're not even reading, doesn't seem to relate to them).