HumourJobs

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...full time. Also let us know how many days a week you are free to work. If you are interested in finding out more about this opportunity please send an up to date copy of your Portfolio and your rates. Referrals from previous clients will be needed for shortlisted candidates. The successful candidate will need to be bright, ambitious and motivated to be successful. You will need a great sense of humour, sharp mind and tenacious attitude. If you are proactive in making suggestions and ideas when working on projects and you want to make a difference within an online community … then this is the project for you! Essential Knowledge and experience of Drupal development, preferably Drupal 6/7 Knowledge and experience of CiviCRM Knowledge of HTML, CSS and JavaScript Kn...

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I currently have a Wordpress blog that generates about 100 hits a day. I'd like to build up a larger community of readers through SEO, marketing, Facebook/Twitter int...relevant blogs Ongoing comment campaign with relevant blogs Possible advertising integration on the site Expert advice on building blog visibility The most suitable person for this job is someone with knowledge of Wordpress, blogging, blog design, blog developer/design skills, strong English language reading and writing proficiency, strong SEO skills, excellent research skills, a sense of humour, initiative, creativity and a first class work ethic. I'm looking for someone who has proven experience and results in the area of blogging and SEO. This will start as a small project, but ideally will be a...

...stocks leopard print dog collars & sweaters. Our target demographic ranges from young, trendy, dog-loving females (think Paris Hilton!) to older, dog-obsessed couples who care for their dog as if it was a human-child. We need assistance with various copywriting jobs and we would like the copy to be energetic and up-beat. We want the reader to feel happy and smile when they read the copy. Humour and witty dog/animal themed catch-phrases are encouraged. PRESS RELEASES x 6 (approx 400 words each): - 1 x "master" press release about our business that will grab media attention and sell it as Australia's most exciting and luxurious online pet boutique. We import 90% of our designer brands from overseas (London, New York, Italy etc) and many of our bran...

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...after a characachure (cartoon) of myself for my main web page. (Photo can be provided). I work as an ICT Network Manager and the aim of my website is to show daily ICT related material that I have come across or developed. I will be providing useful software tools and information on setting up hardware a long with providing live support on the website. The main aim of the characachure is to show humour and to mention live chat support. ideally myself working on a DELL Network Switch or server for example and a speech bubble mentioning live support. I hope the above makes sense. This image will be the main splash screen and mentioned on the main page. The website itself is going to be used for mainly news and live technical support via live help chat. PS: Professional Gr...

Looking for a talented and motivated developer to develop a Mac OS X application. I am not just looking for a contractor but someone who is willing to join my team and someone to build a long term working relationship with. The app which you will be developing is...of bonus payment and the benefit of knowing you have future projects that you can be paid for. I am looking for developers with:- - Professional and strong development skills - The ability to develop on iOS is a bonus as well for future projects - A good portfolio of previous development projects - Good written english - Available on Skype/ Google Chat - And hopefully a good sense of humour Please send links to portfolio as well as detailed skill set as well as rates and contact/location information,...

Looking for a comedy 30 sec spot for a beer. Must have a hook as a finish and be funny. I know humour is usually a personal thing so use British or European ads as a reference. Just looking for the idea not necessarily the dialogue.

Hi, we have a client called they are a fast food kebab shop, starting in may, we have a T-rex as a logo, and the type face agreed, the strapline is "I love meat!" We need someone to build the website, in line with a normal fast food, brochure and delivery business, eventually to order on line. But we need the T-rex animating, with creative input, humour etc.... please look at , for photos of how the kebabs will look, etc This will be a franchised business, so we need great input, so the design can last, and the trex to go on all marketing.... pmb me for further info thanks ps, please not it is spelt, not with the "i"

... how does the child of that animal looks /names and plays, What do they like, Something funny about it, how humans are interacting with that animal (i.e. riding the horse, keep closed in zoo or open in the safari), How do they sounds like ? Please consider that this is a photo book with around 12-17 pages only and each page cannot include too much text in it. Cute, well written and a bit of a humour :) Project Definition: You should bid for 12 stories and also provide your price for 100 stories. These are the animals I am currently planning book for: cat, dog, tiger, bear, lion, fish, dolphin, cow, elephant, horse, monkey, mouse Time for delivery, I prefer quality than speed. Terms: No royalties or credits, this is "shadow writing" service only. Serious bid...

Need a very simple cartoon about the ozone layer. Must be original. Must have sense of humour. Must be easy to understand. (attached is good example of what I want) Budget is small.

I need someone to create youtube accounts, upload, tag, and annotate videos to the youtube accounts. First of all I am promoting a blog about adult dating. The videos are sexy but not pornographic. R rated at most. There is some R rated humour as well. If this offends you please do not bid on this job. I will give you 5 sets of three videos each. 1. Create a yahoo email account. 2. Create a youtube account with the yahoo email and confirm. 3. Upload one set of three videos to the Youtube accounts. 4. Tag the videos according to instructions that I will provide. 5. Annotate videos according to my instructions that I will provide. 6 Fill out basic channel information and settings according to my instructions. That is it. I have exact detailed instructions ready to send...

Hello I have a female focused online sex shop. I’m looking for 10 blog articles (500-700 words). The article must be written in fluent English. Tone: Female focused with a hint of humour Each article must be original and unique (copyscape). Your article must have SEO in mind. Each article will be focused on two keywords (will be provided) Articles must be easy to read and compelling for an English audience. Ability to research would be a plus I am new to this but am quite happy to help to give steer on themes and focus? I look forward to your samples and portfolio. Thank you all in advance for your bids.

MAXIMUM BID: $500 We're looking for a clever, talented artist/animator with a good sense of humour to create an animated video that will run for approximately 1 min 45 seconds. The first job will be to create a look and feel for the animation and a few fun and interesting characters that will go well with the storyline. The storyboard can be found here… PLEASE LOOK AT THE STORYBOARD and let us know if you are comfortable with the approach. The animation should be 2D, cute, and watchable. The main goal is to make it fun. THE FINAL PRODUCT needs to be a MP4 or FLV movie with audio (supplied) and some music/ sounds effects (to be supplied by you on approval). You will need to integrate about 5 seconds of video footage with the animation (as

...Plus we own the domain, so it shouldn't be too hard. I would like to pay upon results but I know you most likely want to be paid before... so lets say 2/3 payment and 1/3 with results? Thanks! Additional information * 150 PR4+ backlinks. Some websites must be PR7 and PR8 * All links must be minimum PR4 or above. * All links must be appropriate for our website (Tees, apparel, clothing, humour, Funny 18-35yr sites). * Page Rank is for page that has the backlink - not the homepage or other page on the site. * ALL backlinks must be DO FOLLOW... * Only backlinks from english sites from Europe and USA (mostly USA) * No spam links. * No link farms accepted. * One link per domain will be counted so 500 links must come from 500 different domains. * Link page must...

Ebook cover for POD through Lulu etc......like their descriptions in the book which I have set out in the Powerpoint attached. I have also included a drawing of the kind of thing I was thinking of. However I am flexible with the design and very happy to see some creative ideas which I am sure will be better than mine! The image must be appealing to girls and boys, not scary but interesting. The book is an adventure story with lots of humour, happiness and ffun but also battles and loss and sadness. The image will need to find the right balance somehow. I would like the image to be unique, not mashed from photos off the web. I would like i to be bright and of course stand out on the Amazon page of children's books...so it must work as a thumnail on a website as well as on a pri...

I need someone to create youtube accounts, upload, tag, and annotate videos to the youtube accounts. First of all I am promoting a blog about adult dating. The videos are sexy but not pornographic. R rated at most. There is some R rated humour as well. If this offends you please do not bid on this job. I will give you 5 sets of three videos each. 1. Create a yahoo email account. 2. Create a youtube account with the yahoo email and confirm. 3. Upload one set of three videos to the Youtube accounts. 4. Tag the videos according to instructions that I will provide. 5. Annotate videos according to my instructions that I will provide. 6 Fill out basic channel information and settings according to my instructions. That is it. I have exact detailed instructions ready to send...

To support the laun...need **funny logos, designs and pictures for t shirts**. The goal is to print this designs on the t shirt, and to sell it on tne website. Our mascott is a giant panda, and the colors of our website is blue, white, black and orange. Those designs wouldn't not necessary in relation with our website or the giant panda. **The determining part for us to chose a design will be the quality and the humour of the design**. It could be: -an image - a logo - a comic strip - a joke - a parody -... As those design will be sold, we can't accept reproduction of trademark or copyright. **Before selecting the appropriate designers**, we would like to see their references and what they have already do: **thanks to send us your portfolio of ...

...the company) - story line: fatal attraction to a (married) japanese femme fatale who turns out to be a escort service of a renowned local jewelry shop (to get more clients buying jewelry) - almost killed by her husband (I was able to convince him to let me finish the novel first) - lots of emotions just like in a Bollywood movie (although I dislike them...) - some sparkling dramas, tears, humour & happy end Too much for 1 book? The essence: a successful young business man who simply attracts all kinds of sudden and surprising situations one never wants to encounter, ending up real bad psychologically and economically, but saving himself from final hell. You should be either multicultural or multilinguistic, novel experienced mail or preferably female (to add ...

...databases (desirable) •CSS2, JavaScript, AJAX, Subversion (or other VCS) •excellent coding and creative programming skills. A flexible and self motivated individual, with a strong eye for detail that can achieve pre-defined milestones. This is a business critical system which requires your full commitment and extensive experience therefore not for the fainthearted. A good sense of humour would not go amiss either. We have our tables built and process in place therefore this is a relatively straightforward project but you will need work out some tricky business rules, queries and triggers. Please note that the successful candidate will need to make an immediate start and will be based at our campus in London so will need to be livi...

Description MAXIMUM BID: $400 We're looking for a clever, talented artist/animator with a good sense of humour to create a simple animated video that will run for approximately 1 min 45 seconds. The first job will be to create a look and feel for the animation and a few fun and interesting characters that will go well with the storyline. We will provide you with the storyboard for the animation. A draft can be found here… It will be placed on the following website and the look should fit with this site. The animation should be 2D, cute, and watchable. The main goal is to make it fun. Relevant samples of your work are essential!!! You will need to be reliable and have great communications skills. Ideally the work

Create an animated logo and a set of videos for the titles my new project, The Broadband Show. I need what you see on snazzy TV documentaries at the beginning, end and during the show. Animation sequences containing the logo of the show, a slug caption, etc. The show is about broadband internet technologies in Austra...producing for HD at 1080p. The pilot episode will use these logo and titles, and we hope to be commissioned for the ongoing series. If we're happy with your work there could be additional video sequences needed to depict complex technical ideas in an animated way. (Diagrams explaining networking and communications technologies, easily understandable graphs, etc). I'm looking for great design, humour and creativity to create the visual brand of my...

We search for the bright designer for working out of a souvenir-designer in the form of any character. We wait for offers from who already has ideas. You will need to give photos of breadboard models and a pattern for 3 different souvenirs. Criteria of work: • the Breadboard model should cause positive emotions, with a note of humour • It should be pleasant to wide audience, it is focused on office employees • the Breadboard model should be bright and draw to itself attention. • In a figure there should not be platitude and scabrousness elements. • the Accent should be made on the form of a figure instead of on a coloring • the Figure should be communicative. • the Object should be easily recognized. • the Breadboard model should...

... The designer acknowledges they will be given a one off payment for this project. Image Requirements: All illustrations must be designed landscape. All illustrations supplied must be 2048px wide by 1536px high and at 600dpi. Please don’t place any text on the illustrations, we will do that. Designs must be bright, colourful, and funny and use good imagination. This book has lots of humour in, so please make the illustrations funny and captivating for young children. Final artwork needs to be delivered in PSD format (CS4 compatible or lower e.g. CS3) with all layers accessible. Proofs can be sent through as PDF’s so we can give you feedback....

...Payment per article: To be discussed. Delivery time: 48 hours per 5 articles As described in the title, I'm looking for a very reliable and semi-professional or professional author or authors who is satisfied with the above working conditions. Normally I'm doing this myself, but now I need help. The ideal candidate should be a serious and honest person, reliable, open minded, with a sense of humour and of course with writing experience. Fluency in the english language is a must, so if you aren't confident with your writing skills please ignore this project. Please include "I like cookies." in your private messages, this way I'm sure you have read the project description. Failing to do so will probably result into denied bid. The process of ...

Cartoonist / illustrator with great sense of humour and a love of graphic novels wanted to design series of stills for new game.

Paying $15 for every permanent link going to my website () from high PR and/or high traffic humour websites. We will start with 2 links ($30) then work from there if your quality of service is acceptable. Link must be on the homepage of the website. I will accept the link to be on a page that is 1 click from the homepage, but must not have more than 5 outgoing links on the page. Must be from humor related websites with a high page rank and/or high traffic. Links must be permanent for atleast 6 months I am looking for quality for a good price. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN OTHER DEALS YOU HAVE TO OFFER. Just this :) This will be ongoing work if done well. Thanks, and happy bidding.

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female comedian with a one woman show touring nationally and internationally requires assistance with poster design, flyer design, website design (altering existing website). I envisage this will entail concept discussion, photography, and branding of show. Sense of humour imperative and highly creative/artistic individuals most welcome.

...detail, and a PROVEN track record and experience with Joomla. We will pay via Escrow so you have peace of mind that you will be paid for the work. You will find that we are kind, considerate professionals who understand the client and developer role, and will not continually make additional requests beyond the initial project scope. You will enjoy working with us - if you can handle our sense of humour. We are also looking to develop a long term relationship with a good client-focused developer. We currently have a preferred company to do our design and development work however they are experiencing peak demand with larger clients at the moment, thus the need to develop a relationship with an additional developer. We value quality work before cheap work. Please review...

...As described in the title, I'm looking for a very reliable and semi-professional or professional author or authors who is satisfied with the above working conditions. Normally I'm doing this myself, but due to the end of the year I'm very busy with the university and that's why I need your help. The ideal candidate should be a serious and honest person, reliable, open minded, with a sense of humour and of course with writing experience. Fluency in the english language is a must, so if you aren't confident with your writing skills please ignore this project. Please include "I like cookies." in your private messages, this way I'm sure you have read the project description. Failing to do so will probably result into denied bid. The proce...

...field, healthcare optional) to flesh out the wordy bits. Someone who enjoys writing, has a lot of free time on their hands, I get on with, and is available for skype chats sometime between 7am and 9pm NZ time. A portfolio of your writing would be nice, but just a catchily-worded email will do! Reasonable English - I'll tidy up grammar and spelling, punctuation etc no problem. Wicked sense of humour essential! What I will provide: A full outline of the plot above. A three-minute film plot written previously, to give you an idea of what I'm after. Access to a (well-blooded) director, producer and actors for support. My undivided attention, guidance, inspiration and support! One final word - funds are extremely limited. Bid wisely. I'll be especially...

Hello Bidder, I need a Facebook Co-ordinator to handle two sites. It'd be a 70% - 30% split in attention and effort. You would need to be Social Media Savvy and Independent. You would need to have had exp...30% split in attention and effort. You would need to be Social Media Savvy and Independent. You would need to have had experiences building down a long and deep relationship with fans. You would need to comprehend campaigning nuances for our latest service or products when necessary. You would need to understand how to track trends and report that. You would need to exhibit liveliness, humour and integrity. You would need to be service centric You may need to understand Fitness and Health Services. Please Provide Evidence of Experience Please Make an O...

I need 25 articles on Aromatherapy and Massage Therapy. • Each article to be at least 1000 words in length and should include a summary. • Each article must be original content and SEO optimized, 3.5 -4 % saturation. • Articles should be unique, original with some humour - No article will be accepted unless they pass Copyscape. • Articles must be in English and error free. • The title should be catchy and SEO optimized, I will give you template for each title with main subject • After you receive payment, I own and hold full copyright of content, and you no longer hold any copyright nor resell. Please provide * Accurate date of delivery * URLS with examples of previous Facebook fan page work any past work you have done I will pa...

...all. However, if you are witing an article about how you can better engage the customers of a tradition business through the use of a company website, blog/social media and you decide to use a knitting store as an example; that you would be just fine. I want you to have fun with this, be creative and write all articles from the first person as if you are teaching the reader. Nothing stuffy, humour is a good thing. 1) Small Business Startup (offline and online) 2) Small Business Marketing (offline and online) 3) Small Business Advertising (offline and online) 4) Tips and Tricks of running a small business. 5) Search engine optimization for small business 6) Small business management, administration, human resources 6) Social networking for small business 7) SEO for s...

... 1) All deliverables will be considered "work made for hire" under U.S. Copyright law. Employer will receive exclusive and complete copyrights to all work purchased. (No 3rd party components unless all copyright ramifications are explained AND AGREED TO by the employer on the site per the worker's Worker Legal Agreement). The webpage must advertise that the medium has a wicked sense of humour. Readings will cost $25 (NZ) and so must show this. I will be doing readings by email, so an email link is a good idea to put down. Needs room for links to friends, and allow me to put advertising for invited external sites, and also to add the PayPal site. Must be simple enough so that an HTML idiot like me can tweak it. A humorous cartoon of a laughing medium would b...

...require and can share all the information with you through the bidding process. In the first instance, I would like to have about 50 articles (as a trial) written and saved as drafts on my blog with images, links to the resources where information was picked up and good intruiging, interesting, witty and effective copy. I need a seasoned writer who enjoys writing on a daily basis and uses wit and humour in their articles when required. If you follow the likes of mashable, engadget etc, thats the kind of good content I am looking for. I am in the UK, so content is geared towards UK audiences. Looking for a native English speaker who proof reads their work and have no issues with grammar or spellings. UK spellings required. You also need to be SEO savvy and know how to constr...

...freelancers, As described in the title, I'm looking for a very reliable and semi-professional or professional author who is satisfied with the above working conditions. Normally I'm doing this myself, but due to the end of the year I'm very busy with the university and that's why I need your help. The ideal candidate should be a serious and honest person, reliable, open minded, with a sense of humour and of course with writing experience. Fluency in the english language is a must, so if you aren't confident with your writing skills please ignore this project. Currently the amount of articles involved in the project is unknown, it depends on my free time. The more free time I have, the less articles there will be for writing. However, if you prov...

Technical Support Manager Company running six websites relating to Internet Marketing need long term cooperation with advanced IT company or skilled individual. · Website corrections, improvements and development · Must be a superb web designer, with creative skill and ideas · PayPal, and/or Google Payment imp...support. Must have experience · New idea creation and development for our existing internet marketing program to clients. · Support with marketing of search engine registration package · Able to set-up automatic email campaign for lead-response · Blog implementation for ourselves and clients · Create report and analytic system for ourselves and for our clients. · Be frie...

Copywriting of website questions and answers. We have a unique food business website and require a creative copywriter to enhance our Question and Answer section. Whilst the answers will have mandatory content, the style of writing needs to be consistent across all answers and should be warm and friendly in tone. The style should be suitable for all audiences. Use of humour and wit is definitely encouraged. Answers should range from a sentence or two, up to a paragraph. I am currently finalizing all questions and answers and estimate there will be up to 50 in total. I will have them finalized in the next day or two. To apply, please provide a sample of your work by rewriting the below sample answer, whilst keeping in mind the above requirements: "Our competitors ad...

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I have website which lists approximately 110 common food products such as seeds, nuts,...fruit, and confectionery. I require creative and descriptive blurbs (no longer than 1 paragraph), created for each one of these items. The style of writing needs to vary across the whole product range, but for each individual product it needs to be either factual, cheeky, humourous, or irreverent. The overall tone needs to be warm and friendly, and suitable for all audiences - eg. no adult humour. Also you need to try and avoid cliches. To be considered could you please choose a simple food item, eg. a fruit, a nut, or a spice, and provide 2 descriptive examples using the writing styles mentioned above. The candidate selected to complete the work will need to sign a Non Disclosure ...

...more mock-up designs and following this, how quickly final product can be done. 4. i) best quote for THIS job (PLEASE DO NOT REPLY IF YOUR QUOTE is over $500) & ii) your standard rate for future work 5. What other aspects of web work you do / specialize in 6. Your interest/desire to work ongoingly with us and how much time per week you would have for this 7. Do you have a good sense of humour? We like working with people that are fun and can have a bit of a laugh! 8. please have your submission replies numbered to match the above 7 points. Option 2: As the winning provider will likely be designing multiple sites and getting ancillary work (the first quote is just for one site spruce up), this offer will no doubt be quite eagerly sought after. As such, i...

We want to have a blog writer who can blog about UK university student interest topics. The blog entries will often talk about university student life, student interest, parties, books, exams, vacations, gifts, gadgets, beauty etc. The blogger must have the capability of engaging the reader by introducing humour and other interesting facts. Blog entries should be able to create a viral effect among the students. So basically you have got an idea that we deal with UK university students. Description: ********** DO NOT BID WITHOUT READING THE PROJECT ********** We are in search of some High Quality Writers Who are experienced in Web Writing, SEO, Ghost Blogging, Press Release Writing, Review Writing, Re-Writing, Copywriting etc ***** Qualified Writer Can Start Immedia...

We want to have a blog writer for our Creative marketing business. The blog entries will often talk about creativity , innovation, guerilla marketing etc. The blogger must have the capability of engaging the reader by introducing humour and other interesting facts. So basically you have got an idea that we deal in creativity. ( may be any kind ) Description ********** DO NOT BID WITHOUT READING THE PROJECT ********** We are in search of some High Quality Writers Who are experienced in Web Writing, SEO, Ghost Blogging, Press Release Writing, Review Writing, Re-Writing, Copywriting etc ***** Qualified Writer Can Start Immediately ****** # Payment starts from $2/450 words [Shall be increased gradually, Special Bonuses Extra] # All the rights go to the buyer once the paym...

I am in the process of building a website for my animation production company Hamsta Productions. I would like a cartoon hamster to feature on some of the pages. The style should match the logo attached. A bit eccentric, a bit cute, but kind of cool. It can be designed in any 2D medium as long as you consider it will be animated in either Flash or After Effects. A sense of humour essential, as well as great 2D drawing techniques. Animation skills a plus. Thanks Hamsta Productions

...with say ten Ads to kick off with, to see how it turns out? Time is not important here, I think we could easily work something out? ## Deliverables * * *This broadcast message was sent to all bidders on Sunday Nov 7, 2010 10:26:29 AM: To fill you in on FB Ads. You have 25 chars Title, then 135 chars Body plus an image to be used, which I can probably find for you? Strong image or humour perhaps to grab their Attention? I use AIDA when creating Ads. A Attention Grab it before they click away. I Interest tell 'em part of main benefits to intrigue 'em, but don't tell it all! Avoid multiple !!! Use Better, not Best as superlatives may lack credibilty. Be factual. What's in it for Them? D Desire Tell 'em the Benefits if they buy it, what they�...

Looking for a full colour logo to be designed for a diabetic website called "Attack Of The Sugar" Professional look with some subtle dark humour to it somehow showing sugar in some form looking menacing. Looking for the logo to be in 3 layouts: - a 1:1 square logo - a 2:1 horizontal logo - a 1:2 vertical logo Logos can be essentially the same with whatever modifications are required to change the layout, or I would be open to a set of 3 in the same style but each one different as well if the price is reasonable. Looking forward to hearing ideas and prices ## Deliverables 1) All deliverables will be considered "work made for hire" under U.S. Copyright law. Employer will receive exclusive and complete copyrights to all work purchased...

I run a parenting website focused on Fathers and need 10 articles written. I will provide topics. Our style is hip and written in a conversational way. Humour is an asset, as is a writer who has experience as a dad.