Establish Top Ten Search Engine Placement

What I require is for someone to get my website onto the major search engines (Google, MSN, etc.) within the top listing positions. The website that I want to promote is [login to view URL] I require that it get top listings for such key phrases as: - weird news - weird links - strange news - strange links - current weird news - weird headlines - strange headlines etc. If you can also offer other traffic advice - that would be beneficial Thanks for looking ## Deliverables Top Ten Placement on Search Engine as described above and information on how to maintain the positions. ## Platform N/A