I would like to have my story told after taking my full term baby off life support, my 3rd baby being born at 2 lbs 2 oz and has cerebral palsy, my husband killed in a car accident, and that I have defied all odds of still being here. I have 3 children. Kayla 25, corey 24, and my nicu baby 14, and Im very thankful, but my journey after my husband died has been many wrong choices, decisions, scarred, crazy, depressed, running away, ANGRY, mad, sad, helpless, the opposite of strong, and heartbroken in so many ways. I would like to give anyone hope, share my story (even for someone who knows someone who is going through a loss) to help and heal and listen. The pain may lesson, but still very deep cutting though the heart. I want to be honest of my poor decisions with all the tragedy Ive gone though. My struggles may connect with someone feeling the same way, feeling desperation. What I have learned through all my grieving, poor choices, being the caretaker of everyone is that Im still hearer, and want to give anyone that understands and connects that it will be ok. Ive had 10 years to be able to be strong, forge ahead, be the mom and the dad, and first and for most try to figure out who I am, what to do (still working on that) but Ive been able to get myself back and move on. The hardest journey for me is to walk my daughter down the isle to her wedding with me and my father. Milestones were never have been seen by my husband, graduation from school and college. my daughters proms, my son with cerebral learning to walk when they said he never would. If I have someone that can relate or give them hope that life does go on and the pain will lesson then I've done my job!I want to be an inspiration to people.